Final Post

In Unit 3 my physical well-being was an 8, my psychological well-being was a 7, and my spiritual well-being was a 5. Since the months have past I have felt a decline in both my physical and psychological well-being. The cold weather & shorter days proved to be strenuous on me. All spring, summer and fall I enjoyed my workouts at the park and when it became too cold and the days too short for me to go & I failed to replace my routine. I did a trial at the gym but never actually joined due not locating the papers I needed to get financial support. (YMCA) I still have plans to pursue a membership though. I have started prenatal yoga and enjoy it a lot. It only takes me about 15-20minutes each day but I find the same type of relaxation I found in running. It is not nearly as stimulating but its a small step in the right direction. Now I would give myself a 7. As for psychological well-being I'd give myself a 6 going on 7. My self awareness is helping me acknowledge my slump so I think that counts for something. Also  the news of a little one on the way has brought some new joy to my life. My kids are also ecstatic about the news. My 6 year old little girl in particular. We only told them a few days ago (it became inevitable because I have been getting morning sickness and my daughter asked me if I was dying lol) But her support and love for me and her new sibling is immeasurable. Her excitement and joy has brought me so much happiness.  Last but certainly not least my spiritual well-being has grown in leaps and bounds. I don't think I can quite put a number on my spirituality I just know it feels right. Since I was raised Catholic I found a lot of struggle in deciphering the difference in spirituality and religion. I see now they can be connected but are very much separate too. For me this class has helped me find an inner strength I never knew I had. The Catholic religion can be harsh, and I always felt it was wrong to judge others, not matter who you love. I found a certain freedom in the concepts we've come across. I've always admired and respected nature & I've always felt the presence of a higher power but with a heightened awareness I feel more connected than ever. I had doubt and a lot of worry but now I feel confident and strong. One particular thing we learned that has truly helped me is the ability to see and hear my thoughts and then let them go. Where I previously let stress and negativitely consume me, I accept and allow myself to let these feelings go. IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! This has proven to help me more than any other single thing we have learned. I am excited to continue exploring and working on my inner strength. On March 8th I have signed up for an introduction class at the one of the Shambhala Centers. (one of the resources recommended in the back of the Integral health book) I am really looking forward to it.  The only way I can summarize my experience is to compare it to my first pregnancy. I was excited and worried at the same time. (big difference in 9 months and 10 weeks, but some how I can still relate them) I didn't know what to expect but I knew it would be good for me. Both this class and having a child changed my life for the better. This class has taught me so much and the best part is what a transformation I have felt in only 10 weeks. Although some of my well-being has declined it could have been much worse. These skills and text have helped me learn to listen to my body more than ever. As soon as I understood the power of our minds I dove right in. Having just scraped the surface, I am looking forward to what the future holds. Not just for me but my family and my future as a professional. I am excited to share my journey and help others in theirs. I have enjoyed the discussions, blogs, and everything in between these 10 weeks. I am sad for it to end, but happy to have experienced it. Life is not about living with all perfect 10's it is about living & that is exactly what I plan to do :)

 

Review

The two meditation practices I found most beneficial were this past one and Loving Kindness. The idea behind the Loving Kindness practice was good for me. I liked focusing on being a better person and in a sense praying for others. There was a sense of calmness in me after I did that one.

This past one we did was my favorite. Maybe I am getting better at sitting still or maybe the thought of my Mom just makes me that happy? I think my greatest achievement in life is to be a good mom. Ultimately everything I do is to set a good example and experience true happiness. These reflections and assignments have helped me set goals. I believe going back to these meditation practices will help me in my quest to be a better mom and person.  Just the focus alone on self-awareness & realizing it is that acknowledging it is a step in the right direction. I have made adjustments to my life and my families life over the last 8 weeks I would have never tried if not for the awareness that has grown. All it takes is to listen.  

To maintain what I’ve learned & to foster “mental fitness” I will continue to practice. I would like to do the same meditation but use my own phrases or statements. Then I’d like to find a relaxing music I could listen to. I still have to find a good time to try. So far, night time is a struggle, daytime is almost impossible with kids and a husband lol, and morning is my enemy. My goal is to work on the last one. I love getting up early and feeling refreshed because it happens so infrequently. I am going to try meditating and stretching each morning for 10-15minutes. Even if the meditation is silent I have really learned to focus positively or even mindlessly.

Meeting Aesclepius

My experience with the Aesclepius mp3 was good. Some moments of silence were hard for me to stay focused. I ended up thinking about work, but the speaker would refocus me. Towards the end I really enjoyed the meditation. I imagined my mom because she really is like a mentor to me. Anything and everything in life I can go to her. It made me laugh when she said to speak like they do. She is always telling me to not curse or correcting my vocabulary. For me this was a very enjoyable meditation because I adore and love my Mom. The time spent thinking about her really makes me feel an inner happiness. I could see myself listening to this one again.  

“One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself” To me this means if you haven’t experienced it you cannot teach it. You can’t lead someone to a place you have never been. It is the reason I decided to go to Kaplan. I could’ve got a certification and started health coaching in about a year. But in a year I didn’t feel I would get the education I needed to start. So far I feel I made a good decision. Both the classes in my first term have proved to be extremely beneficial in way I can’t even put into words.

I think it is important everyone continues to work on their health psychologically, physically, and spiritually.  I often say to my mom, if I don’t practice a healthy living myself how can I possibly help others or expect them to do it. When you have a conversation you can really tell when someone speaks from experience. As a professional your trust in their advice is very important. I want people to work for a healthy lifestyle because they truly believe I can help them. Once I have a well-rounded knowledge I will enjoy the field of health and wellness. I’d eventually like to get a part-time job that will help me gain experience as well. By continuing my education I am psychologically and spiritually growing. This course alone has given me so much to learn and practice. The studies and practices in the text will absolutely be a part of my professional future.

Close eyes for 2 minutes then repeat the phrases below for 10 minutes.

May all individuals gain freedom from suffering.

May all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholeness.

May I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.

May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness.

 In the Universal Loving Kindness exercise I found it easy to genuinely want the words to be true. I didn’t really have to be in a quiet setting to picture it.

I say a prayer most nights, sometimes I forget or fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. But when I do its sort of sums up the above phrases. I pray for my family, and those in need of help.

The last phrase is: Ever this day -be at my side- To light and guard- To rule and guide, Amen. After "be at my side" I add in, and all those close to my heart and in need of your help. Praying always helps me sleep.  I agree with Dacher, pg 93, “the practice can be quite powerful in expanding your mind and heart.” There have been many times I used praying to cope. I don’t really look at it as meditation but I do repeat prayers over and over when I am trying to work through something. It is a different way of looking at it.  

 Integral Assessment:

“Which aspect of my life causes me difficulty and suffering? What line of development is most essential for me at this time?” (Dacher, p.115)

Currently the aspect of my life that causes the most difficulty is hard to say. There are so many different things to consider when I look at biological, worldly, interpersonal, and psychospiritual. For starters I can’t sit and do school work for more than 15 minute spurts. By the time I’m focused and starting to make progress I am called or pulled away. I would say working off of a routine would help improve many aspects. Setting time aside to plan exercise, school, kids, & work. Getting over the holidays and a sick family will help!
 
“What area of my life is ready for growth and development? What is the next level look like?” (Dacher, p.115)

The area I feel is most ready is biological. I had a great routine for 6 months and struggled to keep it going when the cold hit. My next level is to recommit and to stick with it year-round. Especially when I look at the whole picture. For me, when I exercise everything else falls into place. I feel better, my confidence and motivation goes up. There is a connection with yourself that you reach when running that helps mental clarity. I chose this because I know I want it, I know I need it and I’m working towards getting there.  To foster better awareness I am going to log and keep track of my daily routine. I have a new calendar to help me too.  

 

 

Subtle - Mind

I was finally able to complete the exercise. I found this one more enjoyable since there was more time to relax and concentrate on breathing. At the same time I feel it was harder because of the silence. I also found the water to be a little irritating. I did like hearing the flute, I think a meditation with just music would be nice. It also made me realize how easily distracted I am. My sister and I both work with my mom and we call her "goldfish". This came about because she is very easily distracted & they say everyday is a new day for goldfish because they don't remember anything. I'm not exactly sure how true that is, but the name and concept stuck. Looks like I might be goldfish jr. if I don't continue working on this! I still feel that I will focus better if I am physical at the same time. Something about being in motion puts my mind at ease. All the sitting around & forcing myself to not think is like trying to hold my breath. At some points I thought I was doing great than all the sudden I'd be thinking about something else completely and I'd think "aw crap, how long have I not been "not thinking" lol. But I get that even catching myself and trying to refocus is good for now.

I had this really great conversation with my dad today. He opened up after I was telling him about this class and how much I've been enjoying it. He told me about how when he rode across country on his motorcycle. When he was entering the Grand Tetons he noticed a hawk flying on his right. He was doing about 80mph. So he slowed down and so did the hawk. Then he'd speed up and so would the hawk. He explained what an awesome experience he had and how it made him think about how Native Americans had once lived; he even referred to the hawk as his "brother hawk". He got all excited, I could tell he got a little embarrassed remembering how much it had moved him. (which is pretty much impossible for my dad) He had such a spiritual encounter but shied away because he was judging himself. I think sometimes we don't embrace things because society thinks spirituality is weird. I'm happy to think I have the confidence now to not let things like society's expectations from holding me back. It also felt good to support my dad and tell him how awesome I thought it all was. It's hard to put into words but I feel this shift. A powerful awareness changing many things. It's encouraging & supporting my physical & mental wellness in ways I couldn't before. I grew up catholic but never liked the idea of judging others. I could never describe what I felt before. I've always sensed things like other peoples emotions & had strong intuitions.  I also get flashes as things are happening and know I've seen them before. These are all things that have made me feel crazy or caused me pain in the past. I remember things from my childhood and I'd think to myself, "I know this is real but when I get older will I deny it" because even at a young age I knew it wasn't "normal" & I could tune things out. Like I said, I feel a shift. Just at the possibility of being able to embrace myself and explore spiritualty. I know I will be using the text & ideas from this class long after it is over..

My experience with the mp3 was insightful. Without realizing it, each of my thoughts depended as the exercise went on. First I imagine my daughter when they asked me to think of someone I love. Then the water and waves started and it made me visualize I was holding her hand. I felt myself tense because of my instinct as a mom near the ocean. As it went on a tried to move towards a relaxed state. I listened tentatively and next I pictured myself trying not to hold attachment to my self image. I imagined the therapy running on the beach provided me before. I seemed to have a focus on the water. I found the breathing in sickness and breathing out health and wellness to be great for me. I constantly take deep breathes. It is my way of thinking before I react or respond. I do a lot of deep breathing so the idea of visualizing something as powerful as making someone feel better and giving them their health was significant. I found it beneficial to  me. The progression of thinking deeper and deeper was cool too. I began with thoughts of my daughter, then myself, my mom, to the Philippines. My wanting to help grew.

There are two types of mental workouts, practicing loving-kindness and subtle mind - witnessing, calm-abiding, and unity consciousness. In the text it reads "thousands of tested methods is available from the East" - in other words the odds are in your favor, try it. It is suggested to try 5-15 minutes everyday. I could try working on this because just this short one time has brought a lot more significance to my idea behind breathing. As weird as I felt in the beginning, the more I reflect on this exercise the more I see it could help. It could certainly improve my mental health by practicing the skills of loving-kindess and subtle mind. I think morning meditation would help remind me throughout the day of my goals to use these skills. The hurdle would be to wake up early enough to try and stay awake! I struggle with being tired all the time. 

The Mind-Body Connection

My current physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being are as follows:

A-    My physical wellbeing is an 8. I have kept an active exercise routine through the spring, summer and fall & am just currently hitting the cold weather. Time is also not on my side with losing light earlier and school work to do. My goal is to maintain an exercise routine through the cold months. One thing I can do is join the gym. I am actually going to check out a new gym in the morning. It gives me back the ability to run 3-4 times a week and it also provides daycare which is a huge bonus. I am looking forward to getting my runs back in more routinely. They have been off for about the last month.

B-    My psychological well-being is around a 7. The more I am physically active the healthier I am mentally. Running really helps me on many levels. My immediate goal for winter is to keep my mind clear and healthy. To do this I take more time to myself like getting baths or drawing. Keeping my mind busy but finding time to relax is a tricky balance. Winter is by far my least favorite season due to the cold and lack of sun. I fight the blues most winter and it tends to kick in about January. Working on my awareness and what I'm learning in this class I believe will help me continue to improve.   

C-  My spiritual well-being is a 5. When I am working on my physical and mental wellbeing simultaneously I feel like I can really work on this. I think this is where I could use the most improvement. Since this course has started I find the readings have heightened my awareness & opened my ideas a bit. One goal for me is to try a Pilate’s class and yoga class over the winter. I think this will help me focus on all three at the same time. I found a Pilate's class to try but have yet to find a yoga class.

4. The relaxation exercise was impossible for me to get through. I kept falling asleep and then waking up as soon as he would start telling me to tell myself something like, “I am grounded”. The rainbow, prism comparison didn’t help much either. “Imagine a window below your belly button” I guess I am not that imaginative... I did not find this exercise beneficial except for the temporary pause to close my eyes and relax; that is always nice.