Close eyes for 2 minutes then repeat the phrases below for 10 minutes.

May all individuals gain freedom from suffering.

May all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholeness.

May I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.

May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness.

 In the Universal Loving Kindness exercise I found it easy to genuinely want the words to be true. I didn’t really have to be in a quiet setting to picture it.

I say a prayer most nights, sometimes I forget or fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. But when I do its sort of sums up the above phrases. I pray for my family, and those in need of help.

The last phrase is: Ever this day -be at my side- To light and guard- To rule and guide, Amen. After "be at my side" I add in, and all those close to my heart and in need of your help. Praying always helps me sleep.  I agree with Dacher, pg 93, “the practice can be quite powerful in expanding your mind and heart.” There have been many times I used praying to cope. I don’t really look at it as meditation but I do repeat prayers over and over when I am trying to work through something. It is a different way of looking at it.  

 Integral Assessment:

“Which aspect of my life causes me difficulty and suffering? What line of development is most essential for me at this time?” (Dacher, p.115)

Currently the aspect of my life that causes the most difficulty is hard to say. There are so many different things to consider when I look at biological, worldly, interpersonal, and psychospiritual. For starters I can’t sit and do school work for more than 15 minute spurts. By the time I’m focused and starting to make progress I am called or pulled away. I would say working off of a routine would help improve many aspects. Setting time aside to plan exercise, school, kids, & work. Getting over the holidays and a sick family will help!
 
“What area of my life is ready for growth and development? What is the next level look like?” (Dacher, p.115)

The area I feel is most ready is biological. I had a great routine for 6 months and struggled to keep it going when the cold hit. My next level is to recommit and to stick with it year-round. Especially when I look at the whole picture. For me, when I exercise everything else falls into place. I feel better, my confidence and motivation goes up. There is a connection with yourself that you reach when running that helps mental clarity. I chose this because I know I want it, I know I need it and I’m working towards getting there.  To foster better awareness I am going to log and keep track of my daily routine. I have a new calendar to help me too.  

 

 

Subtle - Mind

I was finally able to complete the exercise. I found this one more enjoyable since there was more time to relax and concentrate on breathing. At the same time I feel it was harder because of the silence. I also found the water to be a little irritating. I did like hearing the flute, I think a meditation with just music would be nice. It also made me realize how easily distracted I am. My sister and I both work with my mom and we call her "goldfish". This came about because she is very easily distracted & they say everyday is a new day for goldfish because they don't remember anything. I'm not exactly sure how true that is, but the name and concept stuck. Looks like I might be goldfish jr. if I don't continue working on this! I still feel that I will focus better if I am physical at the same time. Something about being in motion puts my mind at ease. All the sitting around & forcing myself to not think is like trying to hold my breath. At some points I thought I was doing great than all the sudden I'd be thinking about something else completely and I'd think "aw crap, how long have I not been "not thinking" lol. But I get that even catching myself and trying to refocus is good for now.

I had this really great conversation with my dad today. He opened up after I was telling him about this class and how much I've been enjoying it. He told me about how when he rode across country on his motorcycle. When he was entering the Grand Tetons he noticed a hawk flying on his right. He was doing about 80mph. So he slowed down and so did the hawk. Then he'd speed up and so would the hawk. He explained what an awesome experience he had and how it made him think about how Native Americans had once lived; he even referred to the hawk as his "brother hawk". He got all excited, I could tell he got a little embarrassed remembering how much it had moved him. (which is pretty much impossible for my dad) He had such a spiritual encounter but shied away because he was judging himself. I think sometimes we don't embrace things because society thinks spirituality is weird. I'm happy to think I have the confidence now to not let things like society's expectations from holding me back. It also felt good to support my dad and tell him how awesome I thought it all was. It's hard to put into words but I feel this shift. A powerful awareness changing many things. It's encouraging & supporting my physical & mental wellness in ways I couldn't before. I grew up catholic but never liked the idea of judging others. I could never describe what I felt before. I've always sensed things like other peoples emotions & had strong intuitions.  I also get flashes as things are happening and know I've seen them before. These are all things that have made me feel crazy or caused me pain in the past. I remember things from my childhood and I'd think to myself, "I know this is real but when I get older will I deny it" because even at a young age I knew it wasn't "normal" & I could tune things out. Like I said, I feel a shift. Just at the possibility of being able to embrace myself and explore spiritualty. I know I will be using the text & ideas from this class long after it is over..